Chrysanthemums
by moondustbeam
Summary: Kiku Honda had never really felt like a boy. In fact, SHE felt like a girl. She'd always thought maybe she was a bad person... until she met Alfred Jones, the chubby, nerdy boy who teaches her to love herself and not care about what anyone else thinks. A cute story about love and finding who you are. Ameripan. Alfred's perspective. Rated T for language. IN PROGRESS.
1. Chapter 1

**I hope you guys like fluffy stories. This one is going to be cute. I really hope that it helps people who are struggling with their gender. It's not a bad thing to be another gender. I know a lot of my fans are young teens, so hopefully this will help some people out.**

Now, let's get one thing straight. I am not society's version of attractive. Although I am seeing a lot of thicker girls in music videos these days. But the guys...they all stay the same. All super muscular, always looking like a model from a magazine. Of course, women are as well. But now it's okay for them to be thicker. Which is good, don't get me wrong. But I'm a guy. And I am not some muscle-bound hunk like everyone expects me to be. The pressure seems to be on everyone from every walk of life: be hot.

My dad said that one day, I'll be super muscular. Since I'm already super strong, I should be buff, right? No. Not at all. A bad diet will do that you. But I'm happy. And I love myself. So that's all that matters, right? I really do need to change my eating habits, though. I don't care if anyone calls me fat, but I really don't feel like dying of a heart attack.

So there I was. Sitting in class with my stomach growling because I thought a salad for breakfast would be a great idea. I was wrong. Salad is just grass to me. That's what it felt like I was eating. I think I was called a cow once in my heavier days. Now it made sense. Because I ate a salad. I really wanted a burger...mmm, yes, the bacon double cheeseburger from Wendy's. That shit is good, man.

"Alfred!" my teacher snapped. "Were you paying attention? What did I say?"

Aw, fuck. I wasn't paying attention.

"I was! What did you say?"

"Go up to the board. It's your turn to present."

Right. My turn to go up and talk to the whole class for a grade, even though I was extremely nervous in these situations. It's not fair that we get graded on how outgoing we are. Some people are just anxious and cannot perform well in front of their peers, which is perfectly okay. It doesn't mean someone is dumb.

And yet, there I was. Walking up to the front of the room and putting my stupid flash drive in the stupid computer for a stupid grade. All eyes were on me as I pulled up my powerpoint, hoping that everyone liked my cool transition slides. The light was switched off as I cleared my throat and began.

"'Dinosaurs And How They Went Extinct. By Alfred F. Jones'," I read aloud. So far, so good. I tapped the Smartboard and listened to the sound effect I had inserted. A rocketship. It couldn't have gotten any better than that. I looked around the room to see if anyone was amused. All I saw were the faces of dozens of bored teens, including one face that was impossible to see because they were asleep with their head on the desk. Nobody really seemed interested in my dinosaurs. Well, fuck them. Sleeping kid was going to miss out on the alien blaster sound on slide three.

"There are many different theories on how dinosaurs may have disappeared off the face of this earth. This is what my powerpoint will touch upon."

I hoped my teacher didn't realize just how hard I tried to make it sound fancy. My dad once told me that "touch upon" sounded better than "talk about". Also, I put a picture of Dino from The Flintstones next to my caption. Hopefully, everyone would get the reference.

But I didn't even get to look around and see what everyone thought of Dino, because the bell rang for lunch. I looked at my powerpoint in vain, trudging to my seat to grab my lunch. Carrot sticks and celery, because this chubby tummy needed to go. Even though all I really wanted were some Doritos. Possibly some Bagel Bites.

"Alfred! Lock up the classroom!"

The teacher was always asking me to lock up because I'm the last one to leave for lunch. It's not my fault that my brother packs my bags of vegetables deep within my backpack. It was probably my fault that I just kinda shoved papers in haphazardly, though.

As I went to grab the keys on the desk, I noticed a girl. A girl with her hair cut into a short, black bob. It framed her tiny face, giving her an air of cuteness, but also something mysterious. She wore a pink shirt with one of those preppy collars that women in the 1950's wore. Her skirt was black, and she wore gray tights. Was that a bear bag? Nice. I like bears. This girl was also pretty skinny, which was ironically my type. Slender and cute.

She looked like she was studying my powerpoint on the board. The keys were on the desk next to her, so I didn't want to scare her. I wanted to watch her at first, just to see why she was so interested in my dinosaurs.

"Hmm…" she said aloud, tapping the screen. I couldn't quite see her eyes from the angle I was standing at, but I could tell that she was Asian. They always have the prettiest eyes.

"I like your powerpoint," she said aloud. "Please tell me more."

Shit. I didn't know that she was aware of my presence in the room. Something about her voice sounded slightly...off. But I didn't think very much of it. After all, a cute girl had just asked me to speak to her. She could sound like Darth Vader for all I cared.

"Y-yeah?" I responded, my voice totally not cracking. "What do you want to know?"

She turned and looked at me, her hair swishing a bit as she did so. She had blunt bangs that came down to the top of her eyes, drawing attention to her rounded face. She also had a damn good complexion. Something I wished I were able to say about myself.

"I want to know about dinosaurs."

She had a faint accent...but that wasn't quite the thing that was off about her. I'd heard something like it before...but I couldn't place it. Ah, well. Who cared. Pretty girl.

"Yeah, sure. I'll go through the powerpoint, okay? We can eat lunch in here."

Sauve, Alfred. Be cool. Resist pushing up your glasses. That's really dorky. It's the only thing that will preserve your dignity once she sees the healthy stuff your brother packed for you.

"Yes."

She was foreign! Now was my time to learn about another country. Or better yet, teach her all about the United States. My one chance.

"So...who are you?" I asked as I dug out the carrots from my backpack.

"Honda Kiku. You call me Kiku."

"I'm Alfred."

"I know."

Off to a good start. She was already aware of my dorky-ass name. Maybe something like "Nick" or "Jack" would have been better. But no. I'm the butler from Batman. Or that fat dude who made all those horror movies. Hitchcock? I dunno, I just remember he had the word "cock" in his name.

"Kiku, are you from America?" I asked.

She shook her head. "No. Moved here. From Japan."

"Japan, huh? Cool. How old are you?"

"Why do you ask so many questions? I am sixteen."

Well, she answered me. That was a good thing. I carried my tiny lunch over to the teacher's desk so I could eat some while I went through the slides. Kiku sat down in the front row, eyeing my every move.

"I'm just curious, Kiku. How long have you been here?"

"All year?" she answered, as if she were confused. "You are a freshman? I go to this school for...two years. That's why you did not see me."

"I am a freshman," I answered with a grimace. "It's only the second week. I don't really pay attention to anyone in class. Or else I would have said something to you." I scuffed my shoe on the linoleum. God, I was red in the face.

"Why?"

"Because...you are very cute. I would have told you this."

Kiku looked down at her bear bag. She didn't say anything in response, so I thought I'd messed up. Better not to say anything to her than embarrass her. I didn't really mean for it to slip, but I saw my opportunity to show her that I was interested.

"You do not know me," she said, staring at a little box that she pulled out of her desk.

"True. But I know a cute girl when I see one."

She looked shocked, staring at me with wide eyes. What did I say? I really hoped I didn't fuck up and say something horribly offensive to her. I liked to give girls compliments, but you never knew when they'd take it in a bad way. I couldn't really blame them. If dudes sent me dick pics after simply saying 'hi', I'd be wary of everyone as well. They used to do that to my sister all the time. Well, back when she was still my sister. They'd send her pictures of their penis, even if she didn't ask.

"I'm sorry," I said. "I wasn't trying to upset you. You're just a beautiful girl, and I hope you know that."

Kiku's face turned red as she tried to hide her smile. She unwrapped her little box, revealing a huge compartment of rice with a little heart on top.

"Woah. You have cute food," I said, mouth nearly watering. I wanted some rice, but all I had was a couple of damn celery sticks.

"Thank you. I made it."

"Woah!" I said, getting up in her face. I didn't mean to, but I was too excited about this rice. "You made it? The heart is all perfect! Gosh, you're precious. I'm sorry. That's kinda weird. But yeah. Cute rice, Kiku."

Speaking of hearts, mine was pounding. So was my head, for acting like such an idiot. I just told a woman her food was cute within the first minute of meeting her. I'd told her she was cute multiple times. Pretty girls were a weakness of mine. As soon as I see one, I absolutely melt and start to ramble off every single thing that I think about them.

"Thank you," she replied, pulling out a pair of chopsticks. "But it is just a heart."

"Dinosaurs have hearts. We can talk about those right now." I cleared my throat and pointed to the board. "See here! This is the fearsome dinosaur, the T-Rex! However, most scientists believe that they may have been a protective species, caring immensely about their young. So even dinosaurs can be nice."

I tapped the board. "And here we have the Pterodactyl. Many of these survived after the dinosaurs were wiped out, resulting in modern day birds. Just as we are descendents of a common ancestor of a monkey, birds come from flying dinos. After all, dinosaurs were more like birds than lizards. It really upsets me how most of them have the Latin name for lizard in their names. They weren't lizards! They were warm-blooded, actually. And we didn't come from monkeys. We evolved from a common ancestor. I hate when people say 'Why are there still monkeys if we evolved from them?' Because we totally didn't!"

I realized that I was rambling, but Kiku didn't seem to mind. She listened carefully to my every word, hanging on to everything I said. She was eating, yes, but still listening to my dorky powerpoint. Honestly, nobody had ever really cared about me enough to listen, besides my brother.

The door swung open. One of the kids was looking around the classroom for me, presumably because I'd stayed in the classroom instead of eating lunch in the cafeteria like a good kid.

"Jones? Oh, there you are. Teacher wants you...in the...lunch...room…"

He froze when he saw Kiku. His face contorted into a look of disgust as he rolled his eyes and backed away.

"Why are you talking to the heshe guy?"

I looked over at Kiku, who was burning a hole in her bento from the way she was staring at it. She was avoiding eye contact with anyone.

"Dude, that's a guy. Don't let him tell you otherwise. Now lock up. Teach wants her keys."

And with that, he shut the door.

**Ahhhhh, first chapters are always a bitch to write. Anyway, I write for reviews. Please tell me what you think. Though, if you don't want to, no pressure. You don't have to. Also, this fic will be more like Scars. Lots more chapters, but shorter ones. Around 2,000 words or so per chapter, as opposed to the 4,000 in Ghosts of The Past. By the way, that one didn't seem to go over well with most people. Sorry for that**.


	2. Chapter 2

**I'm sorry it took so long for me to update! I was kinda stuck. The next chapter of the AmeCan fic will be out tomorrow as well. Also, Kiku has some broken English, so it's not a typo if it sounds wrong. I don't think someone who moved from Japan would, on average, have perfect English. I was just trying to be a little realistic.**

Kiku couldn't bring herself to look at me. I knew from the way her shoulders were shaking that she was crying. I mean, it would be pretty embarrassing to have someone say something so rotten to you, right? 'Heshe.' That's not even a word.

"Hey, Kiku, it's okay…" I said, trying to inch my way over to her. I wasn't really sure of how to comfort people, so I just thought about what might make her feel better.

So I lifted up my shirt.

Kiku jumped as she looked up at me. Her eyes were a little bit watery and her face looked flushed, but she hadn't launched into a full-on crying session. She stared at my body with a confused expression.

"Look," I said, pointing to my stomach. "I'm chubby! And I have stretch marks."

Kiku's mouth hung open, unsure of what I was implying. I pulled my shirt back down, sighing heavily.

"Kiku, I don't have a great body. And you know what? People will probably make fun of me for it. But I've learned that caring what people think is kinda like giving in, you know? You can't let them win. That random kid...didn't even matter. He's lowly. He's a little worm person. You're a princess, right? Or a queen. So don't care about that guy."

I smiled and pulled out my little bag of organic fruit snacks. Organic because of Matt and his stupid health kick he was having and forcing on me. I shook them in front of Kiku's face first, offering them to her. She shook her head slowly, eyes still wide from what I said.

"Alfred, aren't you going to ask?" she said after a silence.

"Hm?"

"Aren't you going to ask about what he said?"

"What is there to ask about?"

"Well, I mean...what he said was true. I am 'heshe', as they say."

I took a gulp of water and shook my head. "Nah, you're a girl," I told her, screwing the cap back on.

"Not...biologically. I was born boy," Kiku replied, looking like she was choking up.

"Nah. If you say you're a girl, that's what makes you a girl. Not your face, not your body, and not what it says on all your papers. If you wanna be a girl, you be a girl, Kiku. You're a pretty girl, too. So go ahead and be whatever you want and don't care about what negative people say, okay? You only listen to people who care, because those are the only people worth your time."

"Wow…" she said, smiling shyly. "That is really sweet."

I hopped off the table and clicked through the slides of my powerpoint, observing the sounds that nobody ever got to hear. The Terminator was in there somewhere and I had to find it.

"I gave the same speech to my brother," I said, staring at the dinosaur comic about Noah's Ark. They forgot to get on the boat, ha. "He used to be a girl, but now he's not. And nobody really liked him for it. But it doesn't matter, because he didn't do anything wrong, you know? His choice, a totally harmless one, isn't their life. If someone likes to eat apples, you let them eat apples. Even if you don't like the fruit. Because it's them, not you, and you don't get to police other people to be just like you."

I looked down at my stomach and laughed. "I mean, hell, I'm kinda fat. I don't care if anyone calls me fat, because I don't care what anyone who doesn't like me thinks of me. They don't matter. Why should I let their opinion win? Nah, I say fuck 'em."

"'Fuck 'em…?'" said Kiku, tilting her head and frowning.

_"I'LL BE BACK!"_

Ah, there is was. Haha, get it? The dinosaurs will be back. Damn, I'm funny.

"It's a figure of speech. Like...don't care about them. They're gross," I explained.

"Oh. They are gross. I see."

"Yeah!" I smiled and turned the Smartboard off. Looking up at the clock, I saw that we still had about five more minutes of lunch. Well, the teacher could wait to get her keys back.

"You are not the gross person, Alfred. You are kindness, yes?" she said, smoothing out her skirt as she stood up.

"Haha, I guess...wait, why didn't you eat most of your lunch, Kiku?" I looked down at her little boxed lunch, pretty much untouched. She let out a little huff as she packed it away.

"Not hungry after what he said to me! Hear it for many years and still upsets me! But Alfred very kindness to me, so I do not care as much now."

"Oh…" I said, scratching the back of my head. "So...we can be friends, right? Like, hang out and stuff?"

Kiku stuck out her hand for me to shake. Damn, even her hands were beautiful. She had long, slender, delicate fingers. Her whole face was delicate and soft, kinda like a flower turned into a person or something.

"Yes, I shall be friends," she said, nodding at me. "This is what Americans do. They shake, yes?"

"Yeah," I said, shaking her hand. "And sometimes we hug, too."

Sweet. I got a new friend! And it was a super pretty lady!

X

Oh, yay. It had rained a lot while we were in school, which meant that Matt was going to be a nervous wreck when picking me up. He was scared that wet meant 'it's going to turn into ice even though it's the summer and we're going to die, Alfred.'

I shifted my bookbag on my shoulder and looked around for Kiku. She didn't come out of the building like everyone else, so maybe she stayed and studied somewhere. Maybe she went home with a friend. But from the sounds of it, she didn't have very many friends. She was astonished that someone had shown her a little bit of humanity, so maybe she wasn't used to it. I'm not the best person at reading expressions, so it's not like I'd know. I can't tell the difference between holding in a fart or crying on someone's face.

"Alfreddd!" I heard someone cry from the parking lot. "Al! Alfred!"

People were snickering as I walked to the car, but I didn't give a fuck. I have a nice butt anyway, so they could stare at that as I strolled away to my brother's 2005 Kia Optima.

"Alfred, I called you like five times. Why didn't you answer me?" said Matt as I closed the door.

"On my phone or from the car?"

"Both!"

Matt looked away from me with an irritated gaze, trying to focus on the road. Well, shit. I was just thinking about Kiku and how cute her little face was when she smiled. Gosh, I hope she knew I liked her. I thought I made it clear by telling her she was pretty. Girls like to hear that they're pretty...I think. Also powerful. Women are powerful so they like to be called something other than 'cute' every so often. Goddammit, I made comments only about her looks. The way she speaks is very adorable by skipping words and such. Also, she listened to me talking...nobody had ever done that before…

"Alfred, what are you thinking about?" my brother inquired as he blew away that strand of hair that was always in his face. Matt liked having longer hair, a little past his ears and kinda on the wavy side. Not wavy, per say, and not long, per say...but very hard to describe. Anyway, he looked like that dude from Dog With a Blog. Only blonde.

"A girl."

"Oh ho! What kind of girl? Do you like her?"

"A trans girl."

The car came to a sudden stop and the pissed off man in the sports car behind us honked loudly to show he did not enjoy that one bit. Matt stuck his hand out the window as a form of apology, waving to the man. The man stuck up a certain finger in response.

"A trans girl goes to your school? Wow, didn't think you'd ever know two trans people, huh?" He nudged me with his elbow.

"Well, I guess not. But it's not a trans person until the whole 'LGBT rights' comes along. They're just people. She's a girl. You're a boy. And until you gotta argue about your rights, your gender at birth shouldn't matter. You shouldn't have to say that you're different, because people shouldn't treat you that way."

Matt sighed. "Alfred, you're a smart kid. I don't understand why people can't see that either."

"Dad couldn't, but you have me, right?" I smiled at him, hoping to cheer him up.

"Yeah…" Matt said, staring at the road. "I've only got you…"

X

_"Protect me, Aiden!"_

I as playing Beyond: Two Souls when I heard a knock at the door. Dammit, Matt, I was at a very important part! I was about to mess up some kids at a party who had been rude to me! Using my spiritual powers to stab 'em or something.

"Alfred?"

"Come in!"

Matt slowly opened the door, carrying a tray with some grilled cheese and tomato soup on it. His dad was a gourmet chef, so Matt was a pretty great cook. My dad, the father who adopted him when Matt's father passed away, was a terrible cook. Just an angry person in general. And neither of us had the desire to see him again until he stopped caring so much about Matt being transgender. Hence the tiny apartment Matt and I shared. But that was okay, because Matt was a good guardian who always took care of me.

"Hell yes, grill me a cheese, Matt!" I shouted, pausing the game.

"Huh? Alfred, you need to clean up your room. It's a mess. Is that a dirty sock I see? Oh, god, how many water bottles-"

"Shhh," I said, grabbing a grilled cheese from the tray. "It's okay, bro. I'll get it."

"I just...it bothers me…" Matt said, looking around and crinkling his nose in disgust.

"I know. I'll clean it up. Thank you for the food."

"Why don't you ever have friends over?" Matt started. "I don't see why you should live like some hermit, never even opening up the blinds…"

"I have friends!" Lies. I don't. "I'll invite them over one day, okay?"

"Okay. Please, let me meet them one day. You claim to have friends but I don't think I've ever seen you hang out with anyone before. Alfred, I know being fourteen is rough, and we haven't had it great so far, but I'm really trying to give you a good life. I'm not the best big brother, but-"

"Nah, Matt. You're a great brother. Hell, you're only twenty-one and you have a whole apartment and a good job that you earned! And one day, you can get that surgery you've always wanted and we can live happily ever after without the dad we don't need. Boom! Problems over."

Matt sighed and walked back over to the door, looking around my room one last time.

"I wish it were that simple," he laughed in a tired voice, keeping his head down. "Bring your tray down after you're done, okay?"

I nodded, my mouth full of grilled cheese. The door softly clicked shut. Finally. I grabbed my computer from my bed and opened up Google. Time to find out what I could about Kiku Honda.

"Okayyy...does she have a Facebook or a Twitter?" I murmured, clicking away. No results were found. I did see a photo of an old man. Nah, that's not her.

I kept looking for another ten minutes, even going to the school website. I couldn't find out anything about her. Well, she did say she was a new student from Japan. Perhaps that meant she didn't go on any websites. She was probably on some Japanese ones, but I didn't speak Japanese.

After a little while longer, I gave up and ate my grilled cheese. Rye bread. Who the hell eats grilled cheese on anything other than white bread? Not me. Not Alfred. Matt likes all the healthy things. And global warming, since he cares about that too. Gotta save the polar bears or whatever.

I carried the tray downstairs, being careful not to make too much noise. The TV was on, casting a faint, blue glow all over the small living room. Matt was sprawled out across the couch, fast asleep. It broke my heart whenever I saw him sleeping on the couch. He'd given me the only bedroom so that I could be comfortable when he was the one who got shunned from his family.

His breathing was heavy as I leaned down and kissed him on the forehead. I took the blanket from the back of the couch and draped it across him, smiling to myself.

"Don't worry, bro. It's gonna get better."

**I'm so sorry that this is late. I'm working on the AmeCan one as well. Where is Kiku at? Oh ho, you shall see.**


End file.
